How to Talk to Children about War

It is impossible these days to completely avoid news about the war in Ukraine. Here are some ideas for how to best help children feel protected and safe during these times.

AGE 0-3
Of course, the best we can do is to avoid any television, radio, phones, and other electronic access to war news when the young child is present, to limit following the news of what going on in the world to times when we are alone. A child at this age is very tuned in to the words, actions, and even the emotions of us adults. We cannot, and should not, try to pretend that we are not upset, or way, when a child sees that we are upset, that everything is fine. Such a conflict between body language and facial expressions, and our actual words, is very confusing to the young child. When it is clear that we are upset, the best thing is to tell the child, “I am upset because I don’t like to see people fighting.” That is usually enough. The message is honest and clear, and the child will get the message and feel safe.

Then we can move on to what comes next in the day. Being free from war news in order to spend some of our time together, reading books, drawing pictures, setting the table, going for a walk, and looking at the leaves of the trees, feeding the cat—in essence, being in the present moment—is a gift to ourselves as much as to the child.

AGE 3-6
I would say that everything above applies to this age. The difference is that at this age the child is learning from the rest of the environment as well as from the adult. Continue reading →